End Toxic Relating and Learn the Healthy way to Communicate Learn how to engage 

(without being a doormat, silencing or slimy)
Did you miss out on healthy communication in childhood?

My husband and I used to fight a lot. Neither of us had grown up where people spoke about feelings.  Things happened behind closed doors.  Zariya helped me change how I deal with issues so we both felt honoured. We are kinder and more understanding!

Some of us grew up in homes where:

It was so reactive you were scared to speak

You had to look good and happy so your feelings were unmet

Feelings were shamed and made wrong

People stewed and ignored issues

You had to abandon your own feelings to care for others

You’re not alone!
So many of us grew up in homes where the family didn't know how to deal with feelings - leaving land mines of emotions and so much unsaid.  
Leaving us feeling so frustrated and so alone. 

Not knowing how to share what we need or feel in a healthy way.

And having zero clue how to respond without attack, silencing, making wrong, or dismissal. 

Wouldn’t it be great if you were understood and finally had:

the knowledge of what is toxic so you could break the cycle

seeing the impact so you could make sense of yourself

the tools to express well so you get met

the capacity to respond so you deepen love and care

This is why I’ve created the
“Toxic to Healthy Communication” training for you
This is a time for loving understanding of you, accepting who you are and dropping the shame.. 
So you can breathe a sigh of relief and know how to share in healthy ways so calm, love and connection can grow. 
Wouldn’t it be a relief to have the exact steps of what to say to honour each other?
Join us for this 90 minute training on the 7th December where you'll:

identify which toxic behaviours you had in childhood that were:





and gain the skills to healthy communication you need to be honouring:





Plus this juicy BONUS!!

You'll get a workbook with the skills to Listening, Empathising, Co-regulating, and Apologising. 

So you'll have screen shots you can turn to anytime.  This way you know exactly what to say - step by step to honouring and get met! 

Thanks to Zariya I was able to find my voice, stand up for myself and get my needs met. I could never have done this before. It's been life changing. 


I was so used to be treated badly that I felt I deserved it.  Understanding what is toxic has helped me step away from friendships that weren't good for me. Thanks to Zariya, I can now share what I need and walk away from those who don't care about my needs. 

Why did I create this?
Hi, I'm Zariya Lufu. 

I'd love to share a little about why I'm creating this.

As a kid I remember my parents fighting, and I'd hide to get away from the noise. This was such destructive communication.

 I recall sharing with my mom that I was being bullied, and she said: "Oh I don't want to hear it, her mother would be upset!"  I hated this disconnected communication that totally missed me.

I remember telling my father that I was struggling and he just shared there wasn't anything he could do.  This distancing and lack of care made me want to help others.  

I did NOT receive the programming of healthy communication. 

So I went studying and looking for the tools that would help me do better! 

I ran communication classes for parents for years, but often I felt they didn't look into emotional abuse and neglect - the insidious toxic programming that we want to end together! 

While I have a degree in Psychology and a Masters in Integral theory, the training that rang all the bells for me is Attachment Family Focused therapy.  Finally I was gaining the skills to love I didn't have in childhood.   Now I want to pass them onto you! 

It's all about unraveling the toxic traits, and growing the skills to  secure attachment.  For that safe base we need healthy communication! 

Now I’d love to support YOU too

It IS for you if:

you wish you could do better

you’ve wished you knew what to say

you’ve felt a little lost at sea when others are emotional

you are with being trapped in that shit

It is NOT for you if:

you’re happy being toxic to others

you aren't open to deep, real conversation

you think everyone should only be happy and nice all the time 

you feel you know everything about communication

Have a burning question?
  • Is this suitable for people who're neurodiverse?
    Yes - Absolutely. You'll gain the steps to expression, engaging, and empathy so you honour others and get met yourself. I'm neurospicy and these are tools that helps me and my autistic, ADHD and dyslexic clients.
  • Will this work for someone who is busy?
    YES! The videos will be edited into 3-15 minute chunks for you to watch in the replay. You'll gain the workbook which you can screen shot for reminders to make it easy to remember what to say.
  • What date and time zone is the training?
    It will be on the 7th December at 8pm UK, 3pm EST, or Noon PST.

    There will be a recording in a hub - with videos chopped up into smaller sections.
  • What if we need extra support?
    Makes sense - these are new skills and the work can bring up challenges we have. Zariya does private therapy and coaching to support people. Reach out for her link to book a session or package that suits you.
  • Will there be a recording?
    Yes! If you attend you'll be able to ask questions!
  • I'm hard of hearing - is it accessible?
    You can turn on captions for all the videos in the recording. There is also a transcript for each video if you prefer to read. You can also turn on captions on zoom.
  • How long is the training?
    It will be 60-90 minutes. I'll stay to answer questions - until my throat can't cope!
  • Do you have a group for folk who had toxic childhoods?
    YES! I have my Restore and the Lufu Crew membership. It's so anyone who wants to heal the past, thrive in the present and grow the skills to secure loving connections. Love to have you with us. We have monthly group sessions for coaching and support, and an online facebook community. Check here: https://lufu.thrivecart.com/restoring-love-365/
Want a hand in
breaking the cycle?

If you’ve been feeling guilty or frustrated by how you talk

Get the understanding you’ve always craved about toxic talk

KNOW the skills to healthy communication so you feel met

Shift out of self loathing and into self empathy & support

Join us here!

Restoring Love Sliding Scale Options 

 Please pick which sliding scale option most applies to you. I trust you to be honest with yourself and value me. 

 This sliding scale has been created to address the financial struggle many are facing. We live in a society where some jobs are not valued financially, while others are overcompensated. With the energy, food and housing crisis this has impacted folk who most need support. Many who've had abuse have disability and health struggles so aren't able to work full time or at all. Having a sliding scale creates some fairness and opportunity for everyone regardless of income.

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Click to add a 50 Minute Brainspotting Session with Zariya

One-to-one session with Zariya Lufu £127 *save £20
Brainspotting is a therapy developed out of EMDR. 

These individual Brainspotting Therapy sessions will help to: 

* Resource you so you feel empowered and met
* Process triggers with me that you don't want to face alone
* Discharge trauma stored in the body - even when you have no memory of the issue
* Research has shown it reduces PTSD, anxiety and depression

Choose a pricing option

  • Preferred option
    Abundant £77£77.00
  • Preferred option
    Comfortable: £47£47.00
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    Supported: £27£27.00
  • What's Your Refund Policy?
    Refunds within 14 days if you don't learn anything new or find it helpful.
  • Do I get life time access?
    Yes! For as long as I'm in business.

    If you're in Restore - you get this while you're a member!

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