Is it time to gain the skills to respond to
  other people's feelings (or your own)?
You’re in the right place!
Sliding Scale Pricing
+ Instalments
Frustrated that you don't know the words and ways to engage when there's an upset or issue?

Let me help... 
Do you want to respond to big feelings that arise so others feel met and loved?

This training helps you to grow compassion and understanding for yourself and others.
It will resource you to stand in the fire of feelings, engage with issues that are confronting and deeply repair when you've got it wrong... 

So you grow a secure connected relationship.

Who is this for...
For the people who struggle to respond to emotions:

Why learn to respond?

Understand the struggle of why it’s hard to respond

Unhelpful responses and how they cause disconnection

Resourcing so you maintain calm and connected to engage

Steps to a healthy response so you can validate other's experience

A deep apology to repair a past issue

Being proactive to deepen the love

One step at a time so you are not overwhelmed

For the people who yearn to be met:

Gain the response needed to feel loved

Understand the Nervous System and triggers

Regulate Feelings so you can share your needs

Responding to yourself so you are met

Healthy communication to be heard and honoured

Care vs Capacity (folk can only respond to their skill set)

Breaking the patterns to create meaningful loving relationships

"Thanks to Zariya and this work they can see the change in me and want a loving relationship."
Before this work my child decided she was doing to go no contact. Thanks to Zariya and this work they can see the change in me and want a loving relationship. Without this work I would have lost my child.


How will this help? 

This training is for people who struggle with other people’s big feelings. 

It’ll give you the ability to respond that you weren't taught in childhood.  

It will empower you with the skills to repair, so you can develop a caring,

supportive relationship you’ve yearned for.




Regulate yourself 

so you don’t 

get overwhelmed.




So you know the words to say to make a difference.


So you can make 
amends & create 
a loving relationship.

My Vision For YOU

There's a sparkle of love, where you both feel deeply met and appreciated.

You are safe to explore all feelings with care, and weave love into parts that are alone.

You understand how to deal with past issues with responsiveness and have the capacity put things right between you.

You feel amazingly proud that you've broken the cycle of dismissal and negation and learnt to validate and respond well.

Who am I?

Hello!  I'm Zariya Lufu, and these are my children.  We live in England! 

I work as Brainspotting and Attachment Family Focused Therapist.
My mission is supporting people to gain the skills & love they need to thrive.

I had a pretty dysfunctional childhood where we had to pretend everything was fine when it wasn't.  

I grew up feeling unmet. My parents would shut me down when I shared issues. 

 I hated being silenced. I felt so unloved. 

 I vowed to break the cycle with my kids so they could share anything with me and know that I'll listen, care and respond. 

So they know they matter and I value them. 

I realised that my parents just did not have the capacity to make amends. 

They just weren't taught how to respond well. They repeated the shut down they received.

Did you have the same dismissal and lack of engagement? 

This course will support you in growing your capacity and communication skills.

I studied everything I could to stop generational trauma being passed down:
Psychology, Masters in Integral Theory, Attachment Family Focused Therapy, Parenting Coaching, Relationship Coaching... 
I have personally done many therapies to overcome CPTSD from childhood: EMDR, Somatic, IFS, Talk Therapy, CBT...
All in search of what heals and helps. 

Anything that could take me out of breakdown and dysfunction, and into secure loving connection. 

Why have I created this for you? 

Many people have come to me lately sharing the same thing: They struggle with not knowing what to say to issues

A husband shared with me how they'd not talked for a week because they didn't know how to address the disconnection

A parent shared they had realised the issues with their adult child but didn't know how to put things right after such a long time

A beautiful human shared how desperately they wanted their partner to listen, care, and respond but they hadn't received that in childhood and didn't know how to

A friend shared how she wanted a deep connection with her mother, but her mother struggled to engage with feelings 

A client shared about the impact of the affair, and the person struggled to hold space for the hurting partner's feelings 

So I've created this for YOU - to gain the skills to respond and repair so you can grow deeper love and connection. 

What other people say...

The connection I have with my family is better than ever.

Zariya has taught my family to process feelings rather than react and shut down. We now know how to respond and meet each others needs. It's wonderful. I'm so grateful.

I've gone from angry monster to understanding.

I grew up being the difficult one. I thought there was something wrong with me. Zariya helped me to understand myself so I can be the parent I always wished I could be.


Have a burning question?

  • Is this suitable for people who're neurodiverse?
    Yes - Absolutely. You'll gain understanding and insight into how the nervous system operates and how to calm. I'm neurospicy and these are tools that helps me and my autistic, ADHD and dyslexic clients.
  • Will this work for someone who is busy?
    YES! The videos are 3-15 minutes long so you can watch them as you exercise, cook and clean. They can be your morning friend as you go to the toilet!
  • What time zone is the program?
    The training itself is all prerecorded - so you can access the material at a time that works for you.

  • What if we need extra support?
    Makes sense - these are new skills and the work can bring up challenges we have. Zariya does private therapy and coaching to support people. Reach out for her link to book a session or package that suits you.
  • Do I have to be on Facebook?
    No - the training is in a hub that you can watch away from social media.
  • I'm hard of hearing - is it accessible?
    You can turn on captions for all the videos. There is also a transcript for each video if you prefer to read.
  • What if I am no contact with the person who's hurt me or they've died?
    It will give you the powerful practices and healing words you needed so you can respond to yourself with loving care and weave repair into you.
  • Do you have a group for self healers who're estranged or had adversity?
    YES! I have my Restore and the Lufu Crew membership. It's so anyone who wants to heal the past, thrive in the present and grow the skills to secure loving connections. Love to have you with us (unless one of your friends/family are already in it). We have monthly group sessions for coaching and support, and an online facebook community. Check here:

What's included in the training?

There training is designed to be accessible. 

Available 24/7 that you can do if your own time.
8 hour TRAINING (worth over £1176 if you did this 1 to 1)


You can screen shot  the exact steps to support you to regulate, listen, empathise and repair. 

Private Hub

Access 24/7 
You can add it to your bookmarks or phone to have the skills in your pocket when you need it.

Q&A recordings

Saved in 3-8 minute videos that you can watch. Dealing with issues you have experienced and need support with.

If you worked with me individually for this time it'd be worth 

£1000 for individual session time.  

Doing this as a group it's worth £585. 

Investing today saves you so much! 

Ready to save hours of research, and gain the skills you've needed?
Grab this training for an investment that honours your capacity and values my work now!

What investment is right for you?

Restoring Love Sliding Scale Options

Please pick which sliding scale option most applies to you. 
I trust you to be honest with yourself and value me.

This sliding scale has been created to address the financial struggle many are facing.  We live in a society where some jobs are not valued financially, while others are overcompensated.  With the energy, food and housing crisis this has impacted folk who most need support.  Many who've had abuse have disability and health struggles so aren't able to work full time or at all.  Having a sliding scale creates some fairness and opportunity for everyone regardless of income. 
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Please see above for the SLIDING SCALE and choose which rate most honours your situation: 

  • Preferred option
    1.1 Abundant: One-time payment (£227.00)£227.00
  • Preferred option
    1.2 Abundant: Pay In 3 Instalments (3x £77)3x £77.00
  • Preferred option
    2.1 Comfortable: One-time payment (£147.00)£147.00
  • Preferred option
    2.2 Comfortable: Pay In 3 Instalments (3x £49)3x £49.00
  • Preferred option
    3.1 Supported: One-time payment (£97.00)£97.00
  • Preferred option
    3.2 Supported: Pay In 3 Installments (3 x £33)3x £33.00

Click to add a 50 Minute Brainspotting Session with Zariya

One-to-one session with Zariya Lufu £127 *save £20
Brainspotting is a therapy developed out of EMDR.

These individual Brainspotting Therapy sessions will help to:

* Resource you so you feel empowered and met
* Process triggers with me that you don't want to face alone
* Discharge trauma stored in the body - even when you have no memory of the issue
* Research has shown it reduces PTSD, anxiety and depression

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You will not be charged for this purchase, but if you choose to make an optional purchase later, this card info will be used to complete that transaction!

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All prices in GBP