2 Hour Sessions with Zariya

These two hour sessions are for individuals, couples, and families who want to do transformative work in repairing and reconnecting.

Why two hours vs one hour?

- Often in 1-hour sessions I find we have just started to do incredible work and the session comes to an end.
- Some individuals prefer two hour sessions to take time to address multiple issues in one session.
- All couples and families need two hours to ensure everyone is met.

Two-hour therapy sessions offer a deeper exploration and understanding of complex issues, allowing more time for clients to delve into their experiences, emotions, and relationships.

This extended duration fosters a more comprehensive therapeutic process, enabling greater breakthroughs and facilitating significant progress in addressing underlying concerns.

This deep and beautiful work we do together empowers you to have a better relationship with yourself, your partner and your families (whether you’re estranged or living under one roof).

It’s not your fault you don’t have capacity to process feelings or respond in ways that grow love. Not all of us were so lucky to have emotionally skilled parents in childhood. It’s not something that was taught at school. So how would we magically know how to create loving relationships?

Thankfully, we can do this together. It’s messy, real and wonderful work. But utterly worth it to have relationships where we can be vulnerable, responsive, and honouring.

Shall we create the safety, skills and support you need to thrive?

As a therapeutic coach, I provide a supportive environment where you can explore your behaviours, thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly and honestly.

Using a blend of Brainspotting, Attachment Therapy techniques, and (the new therapy I'm training in) Relational Life Therapy (RLT), I help individuals, couples, and families navigate through challenges and cultivate healthier relationships.

My approach is empathic, genuine, and direct. I balance safety and gaining capacity to go into the uncomfortable parts that feel like land mines that are impacting your relationships.

Together, we'll work collaboratively to uncover underlying issues, identify patterns, and develop practical strategies for growth and change.

Gain insight into your relational patterns and dynamics that may be impacting your self-esteem and overall well-being.

Learn effective communication skills to express your needs and boundaries assertively while fostering deeper connections with others.

Explore unresolved emotions and past traumas that may be hindering your ability to form healthy attachments and relationships.

Develop a greater sense of self-awareness and self-compassion, leading to a more fulfilling and authentic way of living.

Enter your bullet points here..

Unlike typical couples therapy, RLT addresses undercurrents and dynamics programmed from society. RLT addresses the underbelly early on in the therapy, so couples and families can address the elephants in the room with care and understanding.

We all have been impacted by a Patriarchal society. Boys are told not to cry, then expected to be able to respond in relationship. Girls being taught to overfunction, thought hen not knowing how to advocate for themselves. ND, LGBTQIA+, and PIBOC receiving stigma for not being hetrosexual, white, neutrotypical and cis gendered. This has lead to both grandiosity and shame.

Relational Life Therapy is designed to:

help clients resolve conflicts, develop personal accountability, improve communication, and foster intimacy within their relationship to themselves and others.

teach clients to transform negative beliefs and behaviours to empower you to calm desperation and discombobulation and reconnect after moments of distress and disconnection

quickly get to the root of negative behaviours, understand where they came from, process issues together and teach individuals how to change them.

dismantle systems of oppression and 'power-over' culture and give clients lifelong skills to forge more authentic, honest, and intimate connections.

Enter your bullet points here..

You were the 4th couples therapist we worked with. Finally, you addressed behaviours where we harmed each other and the reasons why we did this. Processing trauma together in Brainspotting grew our empathy and understanding of each other. You helped us to stop shouting AT each other or refusing to talk to each other, and helped us communicate WITH each other to address our issues. The tools you taught us are incredibly helpful - we finally know exactly how to listen, empathise, apologise and repair. I didn't know if we could ever learn to resolve issues together. We’re so grateful to you. You took us from break up to stronger than ever.

Maya and Jerome

I am writing this 6 months after finishing our work together and it is no exaggeration to say that this work saved our relationship, and made a massive difference to both our lives. At first Zariya worked with me to work through the toxic parenting I received in childhood, so I could learn what was healthy. When I had worked through my anger, hurt, and grief, my daughter joined us. My daughter and I saw Zariya over a number of months, and during that time we all worked incredibly hard!!! Zariya allowed and validated my daughter's feelings, helped her begin to express what she had been unable to express before and much of the emotion that had been trapped inside her. She was intensely creative, compassionate and loving both towards my daughter and myself, supporting and nurturing me as a mother as much as my daughter. I began the therapy filled with shame and embarrassment, yet I discovered she was totally on my side, not judging me or my daughter. She helped us both learn new possibilities and ways of being together, helped us break entrenched patterns we had become so stuck in and unable to break out of by ourselves. My confidence as a mum grew, my daughter was more able to be herself and I was able to love her as she was. I am incredibly grateful!!

Kayla and Jamila

I was blind to traumas that had been holding me down for years. Zariya picked up undercurrents in memories that needed care, validation and empowerment. She brought strength and love into parts of me that I'd blocked out in shame. The release was filled with love and so freeing for me. Today, I show up more myself, share my voice and opinions freely, and feel more like the real woman I use to be. It was like a natural change, it happened naturally and easily. Thank you for changing my life.

Laurie

I’m Zariya Lufu. I live with my children in the countryside in Sussex England. We’re a neurodivergent family - with heaps of autism, ADHD and dyslexia between us. This makes me deeply empathic, curious and validating for folk going through a range of challenges. I’m passionate about supporting folk who had adversity, are neurodiverse or who grew up in an emotionally empty home - and felt unmet.

Being a “different” human - I went through a buffet of abuse in childhood. It resulted in Complex PTSD a decade ago. I’ve been on a deep personal process of healing myself: years of talk therapy, self guided daily therapy, EMDR, Trauma release, somatic therapy, all sorts of coaching, Internal Family Systems and Brainspotting. While it was hell - I’m out on the other side to be able to support you!

The gift in experiencing a range of issues is that I have a deep understanding of the impact, complexities and skills needed to unravel adversity. I’m passionate about supporting people to rebuild and create a life that matters to you! .

As well as deep diving into trainings to support my kids and clients: Psychology, Masters in Integral Therapy, Group Therapy trainings, Psychodrama, Theraplay, Attachment Family Focused Therapy, Brainspotting, Bodyspotting for Trauma, Brainspotting for Peak Performance, Moneyspotting, Exposure Therapy for PTSD, Singles and Couples Relationship coaching, Business coaching training, and currently training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT)… My learning doesn’t stop. I want to stay engaged to find what works best in serving my clients.

It’d be an honour to be on your side as you unshame yourself, grow the skills to love, and know you’re worthy of goodness and love.

Who do you work with?
Thanks to working online, I'm able to work with clients all around the world.

I work with USA clients wanting morning sessions, Australian clients who like evening sessions, and Europeans who want to work in the daytime.
What times do you work?
I’m in the UK. I work Monday to Friday 8am-5pm (sometimes 6).
How do I book a session?
Once you’ve paid, send Zariya an email with 2/3 days and times that work best for you in the UK day time.
Do you do one off sessions?
Yes! If you’d had an incident or stressful event I do one off Brainspotting or Attachment sessions to help you process and resource you.
How do you work with families?
I start with the parents and work with them to grow the capacity to hold space and gain skills to empathise and repair. This takes 5-20 sessions. Then the children join us to share their experience, be met and gain skills to deep the relationship. (10-30 sessions).
How do you do couple work?
I spend 2/3 sessions exploring and identifying the struggles you’re most going through. If there’s neglect, bullying or trauma from childhood that's impacting your relationship, we start by processing past issues together so you’re more resourced to do couples work (5-20 sessions). Then we do RLT to unlearn dynamics that cause disconnection and support you to grow the skills to loving secure connection (20-30 sessions).
Do you work with CPTSD and ND?
Yes. I’m diagnosed with CPTSD and ND. I’ve done extensive training and experience. I’m ND affirming. I support you in growing regulation skills, dealing with self hate, gaining healthy communication skills and breaking the cycle of shame and stigma.
Are you a coach or therapist?
I've had training in both. I first trained as a counsellor in South Africa in 1994. Since I've come to the UK, I've done multiple trainings in the UK and USA. I'm self regulated and insured.
Do you work with teenagers?
Yes. If I'm only working with the teenager on their own, then I do one hour sessions. If the purpose of the sessions is to heal dynamics between a parent, then a two hour session is needed.

I do one off sessions for resourcing before exams, dealing with a bullying incident, triggers around authority or professionals, etc.
Do you work with people who're autism or ADHD?
Yes. I'm ND affirmative. Being Autistic and ADHD, I bring understanding to struggles so you feel more accepting. I've worked with teenagers and families who're ND process the bullying and stigma they've experienced. I tend to attract clients who are ND and have always felt different. It's a joy to champion you in accepting yourself.
Do you take insurance?
Sorry, I don't. I've intentionally set up my practice to be private pay to avoid bureaucracy.
Do you write Emotional Support Animal letters?
Sadly not. As I work over zoom, and can not do a thorough assessment, I can not. When therapists do, they can be legally liable for any accidents or attacks from the animal. It's a liability I am not willing to risk.
Do you do court letters or appearances?
No - this isn't a niche or speciality of mine.
Do you see people in person?
All individual and couple sessions are online. In time I will be running workshops.
Why do you record sessions?
I record sessions for supervision, training and teaching. Let me know if you're uncomfortable with sharing your sessions with my consult and training group. Please also let me know if you'd like a copy of the recording for your processing.
Do you offer refunds?
Yes. I have a 14 day refund process. If you've paid for sessions, and change your mind before the session I'll give a full refund within 14 days. If you purchase a package, and decide how I work isn't for you - you may have a refund within 14 days. After 14 days you may donate the rest of the package to a friend or another client.

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2 Hour Sessions with Zariya£0